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I need people to teach me how not to think about leaving my husband, who's been sitting on his ass at home for 2 years now & doesn't try hard to look for a job.

We're married for 5 yrs now & we know each other for 13 yrs. I knew he has a lazy personality, but I didn't know it could get this bad. Aside from unemployment, he doesn't help much around the house & I have a very busy life style (1st yr medicine intern in a hospital). If I don't prepare his meals, he would buy meals from fast food store or order pizzas. That can be expensive & unhealthy. He would leave the sink full of dishes for 2 or 3 days unless I ask him to clean it. Imaging me working 12 hrs in the hospital, and when I get home, there's nothing to eat, laundry is not done, and the sink is full.
Recently we moved to another city. After paying for all the expenses (moving company, change car registration & insurance, new place grocery shopping, order internet service....), my little saving is about to empty, while he sits on his $12000 cash saving that he never touches or offers to pay anything. So last night I told him to pay the next month's rent before I get my first paycheck because otherwise my account would be overdrafted.

His area is finance, and it's difficult to find a job right now. I don't want to push him but in the past two years, I don't think he sent out more than 5 resumes, but he said he looks for jobs when I'm not looking. (What's up with that?) We have more frequent small arguments recently, mainly because I'm under financial stress.
Should I push him to get a "whatever" job just to bring in some money?

He is a very nice guy. He would get up 3 in the morning just to kill a cockroach for me. He's very patient & has a good temper. I believe no one else would love me as much as he does. However, recently, for a few times, I have thought about him as a parasite living off me. He says he loves me all the time for the past 13 yrs, but he doesn't share any responsibility as a married couple. He gave me 2 gifts in 13 yrs, I paid for my own wedding ring, and now I'm down to "can't afford my regular skin care products". I lowered my living standard even further to cover expenses for both of us. Every time when I see my colleages (successful, ambitious, young doctors), I wonder why would I marry my husband. I should have waited.

I want some advise on how "not to think about him negatively" & what to do to help him get a job. Now I kinda regret marrying him.

Answer
Deposit your paycheck. Pay the rent and utilities. Then take the rest out in cash. When he goes to get money for fast food, the account will be empty. Let the house go to crap for 2 full weeks.

If he doesn't keep the house cleaned up, you tell him you don't know if the marriage can last like this. You can understand him "having trouble finding a job," but while he is out of work, keeping the house in order is his sole responsibility.

Someone once told me this, and I don't agree with them...?

That having a kid before marriage means that I'm easy with men. I don't agree. Here's my history:

I've had three boyfriends total. The first one, we were together six months. I was 16. We did "stuff" but I never let him have sex with me. Eventually it ended. I was single till I turned 20. I went to a party and was drinking and a guy took advantage of me being drunk. I had sex with him. I don't count him as a boyfriend though. Second boyfriend I was with for almost a year and I didn't have sex with him until 9 months into the relationship. The next boyfriend, I was almost 22. He proposed to me, We were together 4 years, and i didn't have sex with him til at least a year into the relationship. And I didn't get pregnant until 3 yrs into it, and now I have a 1 yr old. So I want to know.. Do I sound easy to anyone?
I'm 25 now.
Marylin, i agree with you, and I wished I hadn't. Maybe that's why I waited so long... I mean I was 21 before I even had a real boyfriend... But things happen, and if you ask me i think most people have broken that rule. But thank you.

Answer
No. In fact you sound way too difficult.

But the real question is why you care so much about what some clueless person thinks? I don't know what this person did to get under your skin like this but let go of it. It doesn't mater.